Self esteem within the brothers?

My inspiration for me today came from a blogger here, the word self-esteem. This bought it back to me how many times over eight years I’ve heard this word. I would say its in Dean much more than in Sam depending on what context you are putting it all in. Self esteem, or Low Self esteem to me is Dean. Its him down to a tee. This episode has apparently seen Sam with high self esteem for Dean. Its seen him power hungry wanting to abide by his brother in battle to save his skin. For better or worse. Sam is back, and with that condition is peddling high.

Dean is however, less subdued, about life in general, about himself, his quality of life and his own well-being. How far down can you go before you finally crack. What pressure do you put yourself under before you finally crack. Sam’s mental issues were touched on last season, I think its about time to look into Dean’s. His drinking seems to have taken a back burner and has not been seen as often as it was, perhaps might not have been looking closely enough. But when is the time comes when Dean can no longer cope, that he is in fact de-sensitized to his own body/mind. We can only put ourselves through so much mind torture before something clicks and we snap.  I remember Cas’s line about not wanting to be saved, that he felt he wasn’t worthy. Cas couldn’t understand this human trait why Dean had such a low opinion of himself, that those layers were none existent. He didn’t care, he didn’t feel, he didn’t assume he was worth it, worth that ultimate sacrifice of being saved by another, when he does it on a daily basis.

Both boys have engaged in this life, but is it a healthy one, is it one that drags you down into the pit of dispare for ever and ever. Are the writers seeing Dean this way for a reason. Is there a purpose to see Dean differently to Sam. We no nature is different in each human being, how a human is unique and the qualities they posses. But what makes Dean think he’s not 100% special. Confidence and inner confidence is a big issue with him and him alone. Only he can change the way he feels. With Sam’s guidance has this finally bought it home to Dean who he really is, and what he is really worth ….

Bella would love to know your views on this subject what esteem and self esteem means to you. Have the boys been dealt an easy blow in life, have they coped with the life they have been given? Why has this been such an issue within Dean, in particular, why can Sam move forward and get over things better, more easily and Dean can’t?

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2 thoughts on “Self esteem within the brothers?

  1. I see Dean’s self-esteem as practically non-existent. And while Sam has a self-doubting problem, his actual self-esteem is more or less in tact. Why does Sam demonstrate this and Dean doesn’t? While natural temperament factors into it, evidence points to the differences in their childhood and the positions they were put in. While Sam had a lot of challenges to his freedom, being the youngest Winchester, Dean was treated like an adult from a very young age, too young. Worse, the responsibility thrust on him was backed up with VERY serious consequences, so he was never allowed an escape from that role and the pressure that came with it. He never was allowed to develop an identity separate from that either. Without a sense of who you are on your own, without an intrinsic identity, it is impossible to have a sense of intrinsic worth.

    Dean therefore measures both his personal worth and value based on how he preforms (and people around him seem to confirm this often. Rarely does any care how he feels. He’s constantly told to suck it up and do what he has to do. Even when he’s praised it’s usually based on what he does, not who he is). Because he is unable to preform perfectly, it must mean he is defective, worthless, bad. He exists to keep others safe, but people die around him constantly. He feels this as a reflection of his failure and therefore of himself.

    Sam on the other hand has an identity. He knows that he at least ought to be loved for WHO HE IS and not just WHAT HE DOES. Even while he battles with his own sense of humanity, he is more sure in it as well. He has his own dreams, goals, desires and ideas.He’s had them since he was young. Furthermore he has proven a willingness to go for them, even at the expense of other’s desires (going to college, leaving Dean, ect). He sees a light at the end of the tunnel because he has a sense of personhood to lean back on. Dean has always been treated as a tool. So much so that this is how he thinks of himself. And tools have no worth other than to be used.

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    1. “I see Dean’s self-esteem as practically non-existent. And while Sam has a self-doubting problem, his actual self-esteem is more or less in tact. Why does Sam demonstrate this and Dean doesn’t? While natural temperament factors into it, evidence points to the differences in their childhood and the positions they were put in. While Sam had a lot of challenges to his freedom, being the youngest Winchester, Dean was treated like an adult from a very young age, too young. Worse, the responsibility thrust on him was backed up with VERY serious consequences, so he was never allowed an escape from that role and the pressure that came with it. He never was allowed to develop an identity separate from that either. Without a sense of who you are on your own, without an intrinsic identity, it is impossible to have a sense of intrinsic worth………………”
      I agree with all of your post. Deans main problem is lack of self esteem (I think he had gotten some from purgatory but left quickly once he was back) I think thats his whole problem with the MOC. He thinks he was worthy of it because he was a bad person not that he was a good person-which I think he is intrinsically. Sam had problems with it when he was doing the Demon blood, but Ruby told him he had it in him all along. He didnt need the blood to feel strong and to do good. I think that after being purified from the trials he feels better about himself.

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