When does a friend become a family member?

Okay, we have heard this word a hell of a lot on this show. That blood is thicker than water. But since the intervention and experimentation of Castiel and Benny, it made me think more about the words friend and family. Both are very special words. But when does a friend cross that border line and stretch that line and become FAMILY’ or as close as family can get. Both of these men are not blood related but even Benny has related to the term Blood Brother himself. I didn’t enjoy the feel of a fake brother which later was used for drastic effects, as a wedge between the brothers.

When does a relationship cross into a firm family united bond?

Castiel has been around the mill a lot longer than Benny. Cas has also got into a lot more trouble than Benny. So has even Cas the pass to become that close brother that Dean claims either of them to be? We saw Dean’s latest tassel with Cas when he was beating Dean to a pulp, and Dean managed to switch Cas off his hold to Naomi. So we know the pair are very joined at the hip. 

Had Cas crossed the line?

so my question today is when does if ever a best friend pass that grade and become a family member a true brother in arms. Does Dean tend to over dramatize on this word, does he perhaps let to many come close to crossing that line, when they may not deserve it. Is he perhaps too trusting. As Sam never ventures into this area, and become the opposite feeling uncomfortable around Cas and Benny. So from seeing it from his point of view has this damaged Sam. Had Dean perhaps gone too far in claiming either Cas or Benny blood brothers. Its a tough subject to raise, but Dean is a grown man, and sometimes over cautious of whom he lets into his world and life. Has it upset the balance of the brothers relationship in claiming friends are family members.

Did it take Sam to break down, to show Dean how down his was about Benny?

So little angels how do we feel about family and close friends who we perceive in our own lives, would we consider them true family even though not related by blood. Can a friend be granted that pass and become that special person in their life. Or have perhaps those who Dean thought were close to him, were never that close after all, and they had let him down and were not to be trusted. Is Dean simply too trusting in people for his own good. Does he see too much goodness in people, when its not really there. He seems to pin so much on to that reality and then be caught out must put a real spanner in those works. 

Does he see too much
goodness in people?

So consider what you think in a friend is worthy of family acceptance into their clan, and if it is reciprocated. Is it to be taken lightly, or literally. Can this also be taken back if the person has not passed the grade and turned dark? Type away guys and think of what these characters mean to you in the terms of loyalty and becoming heaven forbid a traitor. Can you be as ruthless as to strip those bonds for ever. 

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10 Comments

  1. On reading debbab’s comments, I believe she hit the nail on the head regarding Dean’s loyalty to Benny. Pure and simple it is brotherhood born in battle.
    Yes I agree there now. They watched each others backs to the bitter end. It was all about survival so natural a bond with out question would have developed.

    As for Cas and Dean, I just don’t get Dean’s undying loyalty. Dean is not overly trusting. Cas did have to earn is trust.
    I did remember saying as much in my essay, that he could be too trusting sometimes. But when you consider what Cas has done to help and get them out of trouble is pure devotion. There must be something there for them to have come this far without spitting fire at each other. One thing about Cas is, he is very loyal. Even during his training with Naomi he fought like mad not to kill Dean, but alas in practice he did just that. So we no there is a strong connection there.

    This isn’t my best posting, mostly because my thoughts are not totally ordered. My take is that Dean is reflecting a devotion that Cas showed them in the beginning. Cas did sacrifice for the brothers. He did things to gave their respect loyalty. However, I don’t remember the moment where they went from friends to family. Anyone?
    I don’t think I can easily define a specific moment. But various scenes have contributed to this devotion. For me I recall Cas saving Dean from hell. That was a clincher. There was almost like a trance moment like Dean was under Cas’s spell. I remember Cas walking into the barn how connected the pair were. Also a lot of season 5 Dean prayed to Cas which couldn’t of been easy for Dean. Again purgatory fulled it for me to, when they made up and Dean was so pleased to see his friend. That to me was the icing on the cake, with a cherry on top!

    Thank you for the comments,
    Love Aunty B xxxx

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    1. I thin kit was that moment when Dean was in the clean room where Zachariah had him stashed before the apocalypse. Dean once again used his magic voice to convince some one to do something crazy. Either it was that moment or the moment when Cas came back after Lucifer destroyed him and he then healed Dean. Dean then asked if Cas was God.
      There’s also a third moment in Free to Be You and Me when he and Dean had the adventure at the strip club. Really the two of them got up to quite a number of shenanigans in season five. Season four they were still kind of tense. Season five was when Dean made a concentrated effort to teach Cas to be more human Cas died a couple of times and there was that brief seperation from Sam as well.

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      1. There’s also a third moment in Free to Be You and Me when he and Dean had the adventure at the strip club. Really the two of them got up to quite a number of shenanigans in season five. Season four they were still kind of tense. Season five was when Dean made a concentrated effort to teach Cas to be more human Cas died a couple of times and there was that brief separation from Sam as well.
        I do love how Dean steps in and takes it upon himself to show Cas human ways. There is something very masterful about Dean, how he takes no hostages. Considering Cas is some sort of Alien Dean has been amazing with Cas and has let his guard down towards him a lot. In the short space of time they’ve known each other I have loved watching them grow, even through the dark times. They have a chemistry too, which draws you in and makes you want to know what happens to them both.

        Thank you for the comments,
        Love Aunty B xxxx

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  2. I have never really understood the Dean/Castiel friendship. I may have to review Season 4 for clues, but Castiel has been such an abused character, by the writers that it makes it hard for me that these two have any deep, family like bond.
    I know, both boys Cas and Sam have been written this way, and annoys me. As Cas was a lovable soft, natured angel who wouldn’t hurt a fly, then the next minute declares he’s a new god, and break’s Sam’s wall, plus other little things. I think they are close, in a brotherly way, as close as friends can get.

    However, he was with them through the aborted apocalypse, a very intense time. It was also a time when Castiel was still a powerful ally rather than a gullible child. If a ‘family’ bond was forged early, I guess its possible that Dean’s on again off again loyalty to Castiel is similar to how he and Sam have had quarrels in their relationship. So, perhaps there is a family bond there.
    Again, their not blood related, but can still have that dynamic friendship that allows them to be close. Cas has done a hell of a lot of good deeds, mixed in with some pretty bad stuff, so has Sam and so has Benny. Its a real mixed bag. He’s also saved their bacon on many occasion too, which eventually does out weigh the bad. I still think Sam and Cas are very much alike in a lot of ways.

    Thank you for the comments,
    Love Aunty B xxxx

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  3. I’d like to point out that those are some lovely screenshots and an exceptionally beautiful half picture of Dean just above. Wonderful!
    There are some beautiful pictures of these boys out there. Jensen in particular is so photogenic his face on a black backdrop is superb. Jared also brushes up well when groomed. Apparently we are having knew photo shot posters and printed material done this summer to advertise season 9. So I am really looking forward to these up to date shots. Roll on ….

    Thank you for the comments,
    Love Aunty B xxxx

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  4. Life has taught me that sometimes a friend crosses over to the status of family through their overt actions and support that may not be so forthcoming from a family member. Unfortunately, sometimes familial relationships by blood ties can be ones of great emotional distance and even distress. Sometimes the non blood relationship that is close causes envy with the blood relative,not that the blood relative will give the support that the friend will, but just to be envious of the relationship. So in this respect, the ties between Benny and Dean make them brothers in arms-figuratively fighting for survival and Benny transporting in Dean’s blood. And Sam on top of his view of vampires does resent the relationship as it turns out b/c Benny never let Dean down, he even sacrifices himself for Sam because Dean needs him to do so. Band of Brothers- veterans who shared a common, brutal reality and survived- do not have to be blood related.
    Certainly not have to be blood related. I think its down to the individual and their circumstances. I think the whole brother thing was figuratively speaking. We no Sam is blood. But a friend can come close to becoming blood related in every day terms. We no its not possible for a non-related friend to be a blood brother because their DNA is not the same. But then the relationship as close as theirs was grew and developed into a common, brutal reality as you say. It would take something as drastic as what they went threw to be draw even closer.

    Bobby Singer once said something about blood don’t make you family. He acted as a surrogate father to Sam and Dean over and over again. He was more than a fellow hunter. Heck, sometimes he was the one who never let either of them down, unlike John, who had one mindset and was often absent as a Dad.
    Bobby Singer once said something about blood don’t make you family. YES! I remember. Its surprising even now I am warming more toward Bobby, when I think of what he did do for the boys, and helping them grow up into fine young men. I’d always given Bobby a hard time thinking he’d in some way replaced John. But the boys never saw it this way. And Bobby was perhaps in many eyes a damn sight better father to both than John ever was. Bobby did the same job as John and was there for them so much more during their lives.

    Now for Cas and Dean. Since Dean has an angelic connection, as Mary said “Angels watch over you” it is a complex relationship. Cas is the protector of Dean, but is such a child, that he needs Dean to teach him about humanity. However, Cas has disappointed Dean many times and his allegiance is not as clear as he is either making bad choices ( Sam echo) or is manipulated by Heaven. Dean cares for him or he would not have kept his trench coat when Cas disappears in the lake. This was always an awkward moment in season 7 and even Jensen said it was written poorly and he and Misha did an quick rewrite. Clearly if Dean did not care for Cas, he would not have fought to find him in Purgatory and be so hurt when Cas takes off with the angel tablet after beating him. But it is the bond that stops Cas from carrying out Naomi’s order to kill Dean as well as the power of the tablet. And why did Cas feel he had to protect the tablet from Dean? Dean can care about Cas and still be super pissed at him- which was so nicely brought out in the finale. Dean does go with him and leave Sam in the finale because he is supportive of Sam.
    This is one thing that is bugging me so much about Cas why did he not TRUST DEAN? I have been asking this question more than once. He should no by now what Dean’s reaction would have been in saying those damn words in the first place. How insulting and cold they sounded. No wonder Dean looked bewildered and confused at those words, from someone he considered a brother. Also considering how powerful Dean was in Cas’s recovery from Naomi’s clutches. He was trained to kill Dean after seeing all those dead Dean’s on the warehouse floor. SHOCK! Naomi new Dean was Cas’s crutch and used him to her advantage.

    To anyone who has ever adopted a child or had a new sibling come into a blended family or had a friend have your back because family could not handle or give you what you needed. I say Bobby Singer had it correct. Blood don’t make family.
    So according to BS a family member doesn’t have to be blood related Very TRUE! 🙂

    Thank you for the comments,
    Love Aunty B xxxx

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      1. I think it was truly beautiful how Bobby always referred to them as “his boys”. That always touched me, that he thought of them that way. He really took them to heart and spiritually looked out for them and even gave them the occasional verbal kick in the pants when needed.

        In a sense he was more of a father to them than their own father, but then John got saddled with a lot of tough decisions. Bobby’s only decision was to love them or not.

        I think we often forget that Bobby had two great traumas in his life: killing his father and then later on killing his wife and those two things informed greatly on how he felt about parenthood. so it was really astonishing that he would sort of adopt these two young men as HIS family.

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  5. I’m approaching this from my understanding of me and how I see family. Like Dean I’m much more inclined to adopt someone as family when they have done good deeds for me and my family over a long period of time. For dean it’s acting correctly towards your family and his family (Sam) that wins his approval which is the reason he keeps having so many falling outs with Cas.
    Good deeds is what I would consider that boundary. But when you multiply this good deed with the bad deeds does this still qualify. Cas has done numerous bad deeds and performed under par for sometime. Also what Cas did to Sam let him down in Deans eyes, along with the stuff about the souls.

    Sam on the other hand is a bit more wary. Especially after Ruby and finding out how often he was surrounded by demons as he was growing up as in The Devil You Know. Sam is a lot less trusting of the other after having been burned so many times and that also fueled some of his distrust of Benny.
    After Ruby definitely I can see why he was so mad about not trusting Benny, and why he was so alien towards him. It was understandable. It did cross my mind how easy did was in trusting someone, and not realizing early on what Benny’s end game was. Did Benny use Dean, did Benny come through for Dean, my answer is yes to both questions. Ruby simply was using Sam an ends to a means there was a direct goal attached to her guiding ways.

    Does Cas deserve the term brother? I’d say yes. I really really like Benny but his credentials for brotherhood are a little more troublesome. He approached Dean as a means to an end. Getting out of Purgatory and it was in his best interests to to help keep Dean alive so he could get out. But I really think that it was Benny’s reaction to Cas that pulled Dean into his corner. He didn’t even like Cas but saves him anyway for Deans sake and that’s what met Dean’s approval, I guess.
    Yes, Cas has done a lot more good, and has been on their side and been a team free will member. So I for one am learning to love and trust Cas again. He interests me to the point where I want to learn more about him. Especially since that scene in the shop where he couldn’t handle a tray of eggs, which fascinated me. He does want to see he is helping the boys like Sam but goes about it the wrong way. Cas was always easily lead and was a good natured guy. I found it hard to trust Benny, simple for the fact that he was a monster which are not to be trusted. I would even go to angels for this line too. But there is something about both of these two men that they always end up doing the write thing and both turn out to be good trusting guys. I hope we do see much more of Benny 🙂

    Thank you for the comments,
    Love Aunty B xxxx

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  6. I don’t think that Dean is TOO trusting at all. I think Cas and Benny deserve to be considered family for all they have done for him. Cas chose Dean over heaven many times and Benny stood by him in Purgatory and even saved Cas. I sometimes think friends can be even closer to a person than family.
    Definitely! They both have done a lot to deserve being there. But just at the time felt bad for Sam, and what he was going through. 😦 That was my angel. It was a shame also that Cas didn’t get on with Benny, and neither did Sam to start with. We all saw what Benny did for Dean whilst in Purgatory and he deserves a medal. But the whole brother thing felt a bit off with me until Dean made Sam see sense in the finale, and that put my mind at ease. 🙂

    Thank you for the comments,
    Love Aunty B xxxx

    Like

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