I put up a piece on Supernaturally Devoted yesterday about the boys rooms, and what a home really means to them. Thought you might like to read it here too.
Since those early days we as the audience have been overwhelmed by these boys’ lives and shed many a tear along the way. We felt we were living the journey with them. We could feel their pain, sadness, and what it felt like to lose both parents at a young age. As the show ventured on we got to feel what the show was all about. A road trip lay ahead, but was it more than just a road trip? Was this road trip mapped out for the boys? Was it indeed, their way of life? We began to sense the boys never really had a place “They” could call home. We began to establish a picture that motel rooms were the focus of their evening stay. So early on we knew the boys had no real fixed abode. Was this a good thing, or not such a good one? So we knew as obsessed fans that the boys lacked what we call a real home base. Somewhere to come home to at night and switch off, and just be “NORMAL” human beings and not be tied to the road and its way of life 24/7. To all and tense purposes the boys really were and still in a way are gypsy’s. The only real thing missing to prove this point was them riding along the road in a real ornate Irish, gypsy caravan. But then we wouldn’t have the beauty that is The Impala So all they really had to call their own to their names was each other, and The Impala …..
I often think back to their roots, and think it was sad that they didn’t have a real home family life style that they in turn could treasure and have been a part of. As grown men now they really missed out on this. Again was this a good thing, or not such a good …..? Both boys clearly miss this which I think is the main reason behind why they are so co-dependent on each other. Sam only really knew his dad growing up, so again no motherly figure to speak of in either of their lives. Once again was this a good thing, or not such a …………? The meaning of a homely family life is something that we all grew up with, so was this hard for the boys to have no real firm memories of this, and what it was like to be part of a family? So has the open road really changed the boy’s feelings for what it meant to have real strong feelings of a home life. Do they still crave that life that that was taken away from them? Sam appears to struggle with this more than Dean, particularly during season 8 we see again he wants out of his hunting life and up-bringing, and almost selfish to say he’s ashamed of it. He couldn’t wait to ditch it, the phones and abandon Kevin. So he still hankers for his roots and what it felt like to be in his own little world doing what he wanted to do. He clearly took a dislike to the hunting world where he could simply bury his head in his books.
But life with Amelia was this all a bed of roses, and happy ever after? Did he relive those distant childhood memories again and did they re-surface as he hoped they would. I think his judgement of this world was cloudy at the best of times, and wasn’t really what any of us would call love. I think they just met up at the right time, a couple with similar circumstances. If Don hadn’t come back would it have worked out? I still don’t think it would have even though they had something in common. Once Dean re-surfaced, it would have been “back to work” as normal. So Sam’s “normal” has never really truly, been “normal”. He desperately yearns for this life and seeks solace from it, but never quite gets it.
So as season 8 develops Sam begins to get back into his old stride of the hunt, because he made this choice and continues on regardless of his inner feelings for “normality”. Is this search in his head almost over, but stores it deep somewhere in the back of his brain until the next time it re-surfaces. Does he continue to think that his chance of “Normal” might still happen.?
So as the story goes, it became their way of life and they both grew up not knowing any different. We took it for granted that we thought the boys were settled and happy with their way of life. But over the years had the boys feelings changed? I think Dean will always remain happy and content, as hunting is so ingrained in his mind that he wouldn’t know what else to do; he couldn’t walk away from it no matter how hard he physically tried. Purgatory was proof of this. Sam on the other hand has always been unsettled, wanting to find alternatives and find something else to fulfill his life. They have never really full understood deep down, what having a ‘FAMILY’ home meant, let alone a home. Being on the road 24/7 just became an ‘everyday’ occurrence that again was so ingrained into their up-bringing that it became part of the territory. So last year when we found the boys were legacies to an organization and that a home came with this destiny many of us sensed finally the boys had a place they could call home.
The Bunker’ as it’s affectionately known is becoming an integral part of their lives now, and moving the boys forward into happier times. But are they BOTH truly happy. As part of The Bunkers’ discovery bit by bit, week by week we unearthed rooms, a section at a time. Were the writers being clever or cagey? Were they building us up to something rather spectacular? Or just unearthing more unhappiness in the boys lives.
As time went by Dean’s room became the focus of attention and what did we really learn from this? Were the writers being subtle in how they were interpreting it? That Dean was of a more caring nature, because he placed a picture of himself and his mother on his bedside table? Did it reveal more about Dean, did he like to show off his momentum’s and we sensed they took pride of place in his own little world. Was Dean one to let others know what was really going on in his life? Did it tell us that he had nothing to hide? Dean as a person is also very tidy by nature we didn’t see any clothes on the floor, or books and papers on the bed. But his walls showed us all too who Dean really was. A hunter by occupation, and someone who clearly relaxed and let his hair down. When the moment arose. So the year slowly passed and we came to see more and more of the bunker, and how the boys both viewed the place and what being a Men of Letters really meant to them as people. Dean had taken it all in his stride and embraced the whole feel of the place and was elated that he had finally some where he could call home … He couldn’t really understand why Sam didn’t feel the same way.
So how did Sam literally embrace this whole adventure? As we began to see Sam’s point of view we began to see he was becoming engrossed in the books and knowledge of his new surroundings, pretty much as we expected he would. Sam as we know is more of the book worm, the scholarly hunter which this season really suits. The writers were beginning to understand Sam and what really spurs him on, pushes his boundaries and keeps him going. So as we progress we unravel more and more, and in last week’s episode the excitement took over me, as ‘I had my wish granted’ and got to see Sam’s room. My emotions were all over the place, viewing bare walls, files and papers with a desk, took on more of an office role in nature. Sam clearly saw the Bunker as a place of work, and not a place to live. Looking back now, am I surprised or horrified? Not as bewildered probably as I first thought. I knew in some respects it would be bare by Sam’s reaction to Dean’s room, and the photograph out of his mother. Sam’s little stunt of dropping litter in Dean’s room, also was a subtle hint. So has Sam been hiding something underneath the surface?
I think from this deciphering it in detail, we notice how office bound Sam still is. We notice how work orientated he still is, and that he cannot for the life of him switch off and still continues to take his work home with him. He is the classic workaholic’ …. Will there ever be a cut of point for Sam, that he puts the books down, his thoughts related to work down and engage in his new home life style. What is he still so afraid of that he cannot enjoy his new surroundings as much as his brother clearly can? I think Dorothy finally got through to him, noticing the pair had something in common relating to the open road and not having a place to call home. So was Dorothy the missing piece in finally letting him come to terms with his surroundings and put the books and work down and let home sweep him off his feet. Could he finally sense that a home finally, really was theirs. That they could put down roots, and not jump up to the next location and drop everything, and everyone they’d met on the way. Had Sam finally come to terms that he didn’t have to up root himself and move away. Could he finally say I finally have a base that I can put stuff out in my room, and maybe have some where to finally call HOME!
This has been a long time coming and have since Dean’s room aired wanting desperately to view Sam’s. I wonder why it took them so long to reveal either of the boy’s rooms. I think The Bunker’ is now solidified in the shows history as the Winchester’s HOME. Sam is beginning to finally accept that he belongs somewhere, and doesn’t feel an outcast, and he can finally begin to put down some much needed roots. But has this journey come at a price?
So what does this say about Sam? How did Sam feel about Dean’s room when he saw the weaponry out on display and a photo of his mum on his bedside chest? Dean instantly felt at home, and we knew he had settled in reasonably well. Did the writers think that leaving Sam’s room to a later date would make us think something more sinister was going down? They are brothers after all with a similar back history so why not reveal both rooms at the same time? Why all the secrecy surrounding Sam’s? What was Sam hiding that the writers didn’t want to reveal straight away? So now that The Bunker’ is a refuse a place to come back to and lay their heads, will it go to some way in helping them feel settled and grounded. In many ways it’s a very strange building for one to call a home, and to feel it’s more than bricks and mortar will take Sam some time. But it’s a start ……….