I recall Dean during season 2 when Sam had died and Dean is riddled with grief over loosing his brother, and how totally isolated and alone he felt. What am I supposed to do echoes through his mind forcing him to act on his feet. We don’t know at this point what he was actually thinking, whether he was thinking of his Dads deal and history was about to repeat its self. But one thing was for certain Dean was about to do something rather stupid. This was about to build the very foundations of Dean’s deals. The past had some affect as we were about to learn on Dean’s shoulders. Had his fathers thoughts transferred across to Dean. Had Dean picked up on some unhealthy plot to continue on the family tradition, making a deal with the devil.
Dean’s love, loyalty and devotion have never wavered despite Sam’s past Dean has always protected Sam, and been that father he never had. So if we really look at Dean’s options in hindsight what could he have done any differently. Would you have expected him to do something this crazy? In the real world a death is just this, but having supernatural influences brings up a whole host of possibilities including resurrections. Creepy as they may be but Dean was willing to trade his own life so his brother could continue on living. But of course there were conditions as we know when the deal was signed and sealed. And our Dean took it, hock, line and sinker. So we know what happens next.
What am I supposed to do has replaced, I did what I had to do. A brother once again caught in the spot light tensed up not really sure how to deal this time. We sensed what might be on offer and in a round about way, not signed and sealed Dean had silently performed a similar stunt. So fear is always behind Dean’s actions with love mixed in between there some where too, but how someone must actually feel to do what he did really makes me curious as to what pushes him, and motivates his mind. Family is Dean’s weakness and he will do anything and go any where to protect the ones he loves, and takes on that guilt momentarily and it stays with him years later. But history does have a habit of repeating its self.
So how is this turn of events any different to that of season 2? Sam is his trigger, his strength, determination and loyalty but how far will Dean actually go? What will push him to the limit and say no, enough is enough I can’t do this again it just gets messy and complicated. ‘What is dead, should stay dead’. But then I think about his line during season 2 ‘I blew it’ I couldn’t even do this one thing and I let you down and I’m sorry. The co-dependency on these two boys has always been so tough, but death on this show rarely means it. So when does that deal, stop being a deal and that harsh reality kicks in. I can’t do it again. I can’t bring myself to do it again. If the writers were thinking of a directional change could it be an ending where Dean has simply beaten it and can’t do the deal? Dark Dean is looming and those thoughts could possibly surround him as he begins to wonder did I do the right thing this time. Did I perhaps fool heartedly do something and regret it later? How could he break this cycle knowing its not the first time he’s got himself into these sticky situations. What happens the next time, and the time after that?