Why is Sam finding it SO hard to forgive?

Sam tells Ed that there are somethings that you can forgive, and some that you can’t and that he basically has to make that choice for himself. So what is Sam still beating himself up over that he can’t so easily walk past. I can understand why Sam feels so helpless in the fact that we can see he wants to make up with Dean but something in the back of his mind is clearly stopping him from doing so. So what is the real crunch behind this betrayal that Sam finds it so hard to forgive?

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Is Dean blind as to why he can’t work out why his brother is hurting, that he can’t simply reach out and put a miracle band aid on his wound this time hoping that it will all go away. Is the wound so deep that the surface isn’t even touching how Sam is deeply feeling? In 9 x 01 we see Sam dying from the impact from the trials and that Dean took his brother to the hospital hoping they could fix his brother. We no Dean was under so much stress and we know what came next, because modern intervention couldn’t help Sam. Many still think Sam wasn’t tricked in to saying yes and words have been twisted around to suit how people feel now, as opposed to when then first saw it unfold. Do we all really understand what took place when Dean asked Sam to live? Was Dean right that if Sam new he would have rejected Dean’s request so Dean took other measures to see that his brother remained safe and alive by his side! Some still believe this was rape, but are you under the same illusion? 

 

Once Ezekiel was inside Sam the damage had clearly been done, it wasn’t so easy to walk away from the adventure that was to clearly follow. Nearly three months passed with Ezekiel inside Sam where he continued to heal him from the inside. Wired events took place when Sam was on the job fighting demons that he woke up wondering what had just happened. Sam also noticed chunks of time missing from routine drives in the Impala and grew suspicious. Had he begun to work out something fishy was going on?

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We know eventually that Dean got Gadreel out of Sam with the help of Cas and Crowley invading Sam’s mind to kick Gadreel out. Were we dreading the fallout that was coming our way? I know I was. Angst is always on the menu for this show, and probably many others. So where do we begin to unravel what Sam felt once he knew what had been happening to him and that his own brother was behind it all. Sam knew that the deals that Dean was making were behind the real reason why he wasn’t happy, and that in the end he couldn’t trust Dean the way he clearly wanted to. We know a supernatural creature invaded Sam’s body to help heal the trial damage. So why do some consider this to be rape? Sam crudely has not has sex with this creature so why is this considered rape? The angel went to Dean’s aid because he thought he may have been doing a good thing in helping another person. Even though he saw it as refuge from the angels a place to hide away for his own safety. How can healing someone been seen as rape? Is it not having the persons consent to invade his body? 

So what is the real reason that is behind why Sam can’t go back and talk to Dean that he keeps walking away from yet another problem the brother’s share. Painful memories continue to haunt Sam that won’t go away, that continues to re-service and not properly be addressed and laid to rest. Is it the deals; the continuous lying week in week out, was it not allowing him to die, was it being tricked into the possession in the first place, was it having an angelic pacemaker fitted in his body to keep him alive, was it the general possession itself that Sam finds that he can NEVER forgive Dean? What do you think the real problem is that he finds it hard to forgive? Is it a culmination of all of it rather than just one piece of it?

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After this entire nightmare I personally don’t feel it was rape but an invasion of privacy? When we look back into the past when Sam was drinking demon blood and nearly strangled Dean, this was Dean’s lowest time over Sam that he had huge issues with. That he couldn’t trust Sam because he chose a demon over his own brother and nearly killed him. So is this betrayal any harder, we have to ask ourselves? What is troubling Sam so much that he cannot even begin to open up about certain things. It took Sam a while to get Dean to open up about his time in hell. Both boys have had difficulties in their lives that they’ve both overcome and dealt with by hashing it out and not brooding over it. Has Sam come to the point now that he wants his brother back in his life, but doesn’t know how to ask for it? Is this what we are reading? We have seen there have been brief moments where Sam has thought twice about blocking Dean out, but there have also been strong times where he wants to talk, but can’t bring himself to. So what words will finally bring them out of this current predicament? Will Dean own up, and shout I’m sorry I fucked up? Or will Sam push those first words to get the bond back on track? Can it be this simple or is the relationship this broken that it cannot be fixed? I sincerely hope this isn’t the case.

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So are the boys any further forward in healing this rift that won’t heal so easily? Can Dean finally take off Sam’s band aid and make it all seem better for Sam? Will it ever be this simple? Tell me your feelings on how Sam feels about his current dilemma, is he bleating without any real claim to, or do you feel strongly that Dean needs to express his point of view more so it allows the boys to naturally heal? Can they walk past this without wounds lingering in the future that will it all come back to bite them up the bum? Had Harry’s words this week to Sam and Dean about the rocking chair put seeds in their mind about their own relationship.  Had Ed and Harry’s break-up prompted the boys to do something about their own. Both boys felt what Harry was clearly saying in the car, that their facial expressions were enough to let us know they were thinking about those words. But what’s next, where does this leave Sam. Can he find it in his heart to forgive? 

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20 thoughts on “Why is Sam finding it SO hard to forgive?

  1. I’m not one to post comments and I know I am late but I just have one question for everyone against Dean on this. How would you feel if he let Sam die? There was no more Sammy in Supernatural? I’m sure then you would be attacking the writers. I’m not saying what Dean did was right but you can’t blame him for wanting to save his brother.

    And I find it odd how no one has pointed out just how weak Sam has become. He was once my favorite character and as the show progressed I realized more and more just how easily he gives up. Sam, one of the only hunters left in existence, wants nothing more than to stop hunting. What if Superman or Spider-Man or Batman decided they were just too exasperated and tired of it all to save the world? It’s a hard burden, I get it, but he needs to man up and realize what role he plays. Instead, he’s ready to give up any chance he gets (when Dean was in purgatory, after the Trials).

    If we can just be honest with ourselves, we would admit that Sam just does not care about Dean as much as Dean cares about Sam. The fact alone that Sam would not have tried to save Dean had the roles been reversed shows just where Sam’s head is at. He would let Dean die then he would run off and try to fill the void Jess left with some random chick while the world crumbles in the shadows (which makes no sense to me because if one of the angels/demons decides to try and deep fry the planet again and there’s no one to stop them, him, the girl, and any family he has will be nothing but ash). He cares more about his own happiness and comfort than anything else.

    Last thing: WHO SEES THEIR BROTHER DISAPPEAR INTO THIN AIR AND DOESNT EVEN WONDER WHERE HE WENT?? Come on Sammy!

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  2. Sam is an easily tricked man let’s not forget Ruby, which is far worse than what Dean did here season finale can be family counseling with Kevin Tran!
    Yes, Sam is easily tricked which did surprise me during season 4. But I think this is just as bad as Kevin died and Sam blames himself for this loss of life. So I think this is more serious in a different way. Two very different situations.

    Love Aunty B xxxx

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    1. “Sam is a easily tricked man let’s not forget Ruby, which is far worse than what Dean did here”
      I never felt he was tricked. He agreed to Deans plan. He should have asked what the plan was knowing Dean.

      He agreed to Dean’s plan but he didn’t really understand the plan and what had gone on before. He was in the dark. Dean said himself that if he’d told him he wouldn’t have agreed to it when he was in the store room with Gadreel.

      Love Aunty B xxxx

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      1. Do you see a parallel here. Just like Dean and the MoC, Sam just jumped right into a decision without finding out what the cost might be? If so, its an interesting turnabout.
        But he didn’t know, Dean did?

        Love Aunty B xxxx

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        1. “Do you see a parallel here. Just like Dean and the MoC, Sam just jumped right into a decision without finding out what the cost might be? If so, its an interesting turnabout”

          I didnt really see that! Good call

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    2. Dean is at a point where he is beginning to care less and less about what Sam needs or wants and Sam is emotionally distant from Dean. MoC is building Dean into a hunting machine with one focus.
      Yeap, I am so loving how this story is panning out. I can’t wait for the finale and see how dark Dean does actually go. Jensen said in that podcast exactly what you are saying. Jensen said that Dean is a tool a hunting tool and his only focus is to kill Abaddon. I think Jensen is finally happy he has something to do. 🙂

      Love Aunty B xxxx

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  3. It’s not as much the possession as that Dean lied to Sam about from Sam’s POV after Dean’s no more lies speech in the church. Dean was duped by Gadreel as well. It is not clear that Gadreel had anything on his plate other than to hide from angels and fix Sam when he took Sam. Sam sees Dean as the ruffie drug that allowed the possession but then Sam was catching on that something was off and all Dean could say was…. “the trials” which is partly true but Dean again protecting Sam,couldn’t spill the beans. Think back to season 7 when Dean killed Amy. Sam was saddened at her loss but was more upset that Dean did not tell him the truth. Sam took off because he could not forgive Dean but later understood the rationale and had to forgive the omission. Dean lied about Amelia being in trouble. And again Dean holds back to “protect’ Sam and says he would do it again. And Sam wouldn’t save Dean? Do we really believe him after all he has gone through to first save Dean from Hell and then to sacrifice himself to attempt to stop the Apocalypse and then put Lucy in the cage? Has Sam changed on an subatomic level so much even with Cas’s restoration, that he would not fight to save Dean? Is that what character growth for Sam means? I see a finale lining up.
    Debbab I am so with you on this. Dean has done some dodgy things in his time and not always owned up to them. Maybe this is what the writers are trying to put across to us, I don’t no. I think as you say and I gathered in my own mind too, that they are setting us up for the finale again. This appears to be Carver’s way. But its also the way he is portraying Sam these days as a whole. Its like they’ve changed him beyond all recognition. I still can’t believe that this is the mature Sam that wouldn’t give too figs about Dean, that wouldn’t do the same for Dean and return the favor. Sam does save Dean, he panics when Dean is in trouble but its like there not telling us his full story like a piece is missing. Is Sam this uncaring human being that we no longer know and understand. If Sam last season didn’t want to let Dean down that, that was his greatest sin. What will this season be because I don’t think he’s lived up to this ether. I don’t think they no how to write him.

    Victims of violent crimes (and Sam feels he is one, call it rape, invasion, etc) have their own time table to deal with events and consequences. Cas says that he changed and maybe Winchesters can too. I’m waiting to see if this is true. Dean holds a grudge and works it out in his own time usually with booze. He pushes down his issues to be a professional and do his job with a smile week by week as Frank Deveraux suggests in season 7. Not saying Sam should “get over it” quickly either. Each character works out his issue within the parameters of the psychology of the writers’ creation.
    That is true that Dean uses booze to push away his fears. But Sam isn’t that drinker who can wile away his time and brood. He does pent emotions up this we no, they both do in affect. I think they will learn from this later on. Maybe not straight away, but I think its a big thing for Dean to pick up on about the supernatural that he can’t use them as back up it causes deaths. It will be interesting to see how they both deal with the MoC. As I can see this spiral into another feud down the line.

    Usually Sam and Dean split up when one of these trust issues comes between them. This time instead of Sam leaving on his own, Dean will push him away as the MoC might play into it. Distance sometimes adds perspective. the Ghostfacers added some of that perspective. For the first time Sam and Dean can see their problem objectively. Maybe they need some geographic distance before they can heal. Or are the writers going to torture us with this through season 10? Options, options, options.
    I wondered if this would happen again, as it isolated Cain and pushed him away from his family. So the writers are staying to the story. I think the GF’s was a firm indication to the boys that they also had issues, and needed to deal with them. The way they tried to look at each other in the car I could scream at them. Guys for god sake, snap out of this and talk. I think it was a nice throw in to include Harry’s words it may or may not have done the trick, again we have to wait and see.

    On to an intervention for Crowley. Dean has some experience doing this type of work. Did Crowley screw the pooch to Abaddon and endanger Dean?
    Crowley is all over this in a huge way, he’s instigated this whole plan on Dean and I bet it has to do with revenge for the boys locking him up. I want to know what his end game is. Why he is so invested in Dean, and why he so keenly wants to continually work with him. Obviously the Cain story is a big factor behind his mask, but the end result. I dread to think.

    Love Aunty B xxx

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  4. Sam has seemed to forgive pretty quickly in the past, with the possible exception of forgiving his father. That took him a while. He has always felt so guilty about every bad choice he has made. I figured the guilt he had made it hard to pass judgement or hold grudges. I certainly saw that in his interactions with Cas. Maybe he has gotten tired of all the guilt OR the struggle with the guilt is so overwhelming because of Kevin that he feels he should detach himself from Dean, but he can’t seem to do it-especially now that he’s noticing something is wrong with Dean. I don’t know — I have this feeling that maybe “where Sam’s coming from,” when it comes out, is going to surprise me. It’s getting pretty exhausting waiting for this to play out, isn’t it?
    I think it is probably Kevin’s death that has multiplied within him, he must feel terrible guilt over such a young life. In the show so many characters do die, but not such a young life as Kevin’s, who really helped the boys with the tablets and stuff. He was a wee genius, and Sam took that really hard. I think overwhelming is the word, it really hit him hard. Harder than anything else has in the past. That’s a good point about why he can’t detach himself from Dean because he’s aware something is wrong with him. This is the reason why obviously now the penny has dropped…. Not long to go now, it going to kick in soon. I thought the show was on tomorrow night, and its not. So we have a week off 😦

    Love Aunty B xxx

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  5. In all of this mess which has me biting my nails, one must remember Sam is the adult and Dean is the child.


      Good point, its a role reversal this time. Sam is taking the lead and telling Dean occasionally how he’s feeling.

      Love Aunty B xxx

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    1. My problem is that Sam won’t even talk about it. Dean is obviously confused as to what Sam wants from him and Dean doesn’t understand how to not be brothers. Saving people, hunting things, the FAMILY business.
      I think Sam is still processing it. I think its not really all sunk in yet, he’s not sure himself. He dealt with a big deal and that’s gonna take time to respond to. He’s giving Dean mixed signals I think because he’s unsure himself. He doesn’t no how to ask for it. He’s messed up again. If one just made that first move, instead of letting it fester, it would help him deal with it. Bottling this up isn’t help either of them one bit.

      Love Aunty B xxx

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      1. But Sam has opened the topic three times and DEAN hasn’t wanted to listen. In Holy Terror, Sam started talking on the bridge, telling Dean they didn’t see things the same way and Dean walked away and disappeared for two weeks. In Sharp Teeth, hen Sam found him Dean lied to Sam about Garth just to avoid Sam and Sam stayed around and told Dean he wanted to work together. He left being family open, but it’s not like Dean made any attempt to find out what Sam meant. Then in The Purge Sam opened the conversation AGAIN and all he got from Dean is that Dean is right and Sam would do the same thing. Then Sam said he wouldn’t. Sam has repeatedly tried to start the conversation and Dean blows him off. The only time Sam walked away was after Kevin basically told him to get over it. Sam isn’t ready to get over it. Dean won’t admit he did anything wrong. Why does this have to be on DEAN’S timetable. Dean is the one who messed up this time, but Sam is getting flak because when Dean says after rejecting Sam’s efforts that NOW he’s ready to talk, Sam (who had just told the mother of the boy his body killed that he was dead) should jump? Because I fully believe Dean was going to say Kevin forgives you and told you to cut it out, so stop being a little bitch about this and get over it, just and like he did in The Mentalists. Dean has given absolutely NO indication that he is willing to accept anything other than Sam’s abject apology for not falling on his knees and forgiving Dean.
        They have true talked about it but why are they still not back to their old selves. Something is still wrong in the relationship because we can see that Sam wants to get it all off his chest. He’s still holding back. Dean should come forward and break the ice, I’ve never doubted this. I never thought that Sam this time has done very much if anything wrong as some fans feel. His body was invaded and he was tricked or coursed into the whole deal. He wasn’t given full consent over the whole deal. Dean has stuffed up this time, well and truly. He did a risky thing in allowing Zeke into his brother. We new he knew this but the story unfolded any way. Its made Sam look bad even though he’s the victim in ALL this. It feels a bit of a hotch potch to me as its taking them a long time to get it all out in the open. Its not fully out in the open because Sam is holding back. Dean is too damned stubborn to talk frankly to Sam. This is what pees me off about these writers they never allow the boys to properly sort out their arguments. They just cover over the cracks. This so reminds me of season 5.

        Sam walked away ONCE, Dean didn’t follow or make any move to reconcile. In fact Dean’s next action is to tell Sam that he isn’t sure Sam wants to hunt with him any more after the ONE thing Sam has been clear on is that he DOES want to hunt with Dean. Dean is ignoring what Sam says directly, refusing to talk when Sam wants to and Sam is taking the heat.
        It does feel very wired this time, and your words above spell it out. I am sure they are holding this back for a reason, obviously for the MoC story to take shape. But its not like Dean to not talk to Sam and sort this rift out. He’s the head of the house hold, and he should sort their problems out. They need to, as the longer it goes on, the worse it will get. I so want my boys back I miss them being brothers.

        Love Aunty B xxx

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        1. Yeah, I’m beginning to dislike how the fans vilify Sam for doing the exact same things that they all applaud Dean for doing. It’s a double standard that many of them refuse to see, no matter how many times you spell it our for them, that does not speak well of the fandom at all. It’s a little depressing as regards the fandom, how they come to Dean’s defense no matter how badly he behaves. It’s like they don’t understand that you can still love a person and call them on their bull-spit. It’s okay. And Some fans have thoroughly forgotten that it is “Sam” who is the victim here. Dean is not the victim just because Sam is exasperated with him. Not mad at him, just tired of Dean’s shenanigans.
          Its because some Dean fans are so polarized they can’t or don’t want to see it. That Sam does wrong all the time, and Dean is never called out for it. This time it was Dean’s fault there is no getting away from this. Some still say Sam needs to apologize but for what exactly. He was and still is lashing out at Dean because he’s still deeply hurt. Sam never really fully gets understood by a lot of fans, that Dean is so perfect that he never does much wrong when he does. The only time I really remember Dean being got at was over Amy it was really bad for weeks after. This whole thing was really serious in so many ways. And to loose Kevin I think was his final straw.

          IMO, the ball is entirely in Dean’s court. He knows where Sam lives. He knows where his room is. He can begin a conversation at any time. That’s why I think what’s stopping Dean is he’s mistaken about what Sam wants and is being prideful and stubborn. More than a few people have suffered from that particularly toxic combo. Dean is not immune and the MoC could be playing up these feelings, too.
          Its the MoC that is stopping Dean. I think this is why the feud isn’t healing as quickly as it normally does. Dean later pushes Sam away again and they go their separate ways. I don’t think I’ve known an disagreement to go on as long. I hope Sam is noticing that Dean isn’t right, and that might make them bond again but I don’t think it will be any time soon. We’ve been lucky in the fact that we have had two stories pan out this season.

          Love Aunty B xxxx

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        2. Percysowner I guess I saw it differently. I saw Sam accusing Dean not talking about what was wrong. Yes Dean said he would do it again-thats when Sam should have explained to him why that makes him unhappy. Also after Kevin said he wasnt blaming them Dena was ready to talk-it was the perfect time it seemed to me-but Sam walked away. JMHO

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          1. But Dean started out telling Gadreel that Sam would NEVER agree to being possessed. He knew darned well that being possessed alone would make Sam unhappy. Plus Dean ORDERED Sam to not feel guilty because it was all on Dean. But Dean doesn’t have the image of his hands killing Kevin in his mind. It’s nice that Kevin forgives them both, but that still means Sam isn’t permitted to talk about his feelings, because Dean keeps shutting him down.

            Frankly, until the words I apologize or I’m sorry come out of Dean’s mouth I don’t think Sam should make a move. JMHO

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            1. judging from Dean’s recent kill and almost expression of enjoying it a bit too much, I think Dean is going to be so focused on hunting Abaddon he is going to push Sam aside which will make it all the worse for Sam who at some point may be ready to reconcile but Dean won’t be there. Mark of Cain affect.
              This is really, really sad to read, but we no its inevitably going to happen. I just hope that Sam fights hard enough to get Dean back. I don’t want this pushing them away from each other totally. But we know what ever supernatural force gets between them, the bond is stronger than anything supernatural. Yeah writers, this time its a great plot!!!

              Love Aunty B xxxx

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    2. Well I think there are a lot of reasons Sam hasn’t forgiven Dean. First, Dean not only hasn’t apologized, he’s said he’d do it all again. Whether you view this as rape, or an invasion of privacy or simply an act of taking away Sam’s bodily autonomy, unless Dean is willing to at least SAY he won’t override Sam’s decisions about his own body how can Sam feel safe? And if Dean doesn’t think he did anything wrong then how can Sam forgive? Is he just supposed to shrug his shoulders, tell himself that’s Dean and wonder if Dean’s rented out his body the next time Sam is hurt?
      When we look back into the past when Sam was drinking demon blood and nearly strangled Dean, this was Dean’s lowest time over Sam that he had huge issues with. That he couldn’t trust Sam because he chose a demon over his own brother and nearly killed him. So is this betrayal any harder, we have to ask ourselves?

      I hear what your saying Percy. It is about Sam feeling safe. Its not about shrugging shoulders its about who will make the first move and talk this through. They both clearly need to talk and something is preventing Sam from going back to Dean, we saw him before going back into his bedroom that he wanted to at least try but something prevented this. This is what I am trying to get to the bottom of. Both have suffered over the years and have got through some crap but Sam is clearly missing Dean being the brother this is obvious. He wants to forgive but its like he can’t make contact. Dean is beginning to feel the brunt now too, but he’s not trying to make amends either. He was just going to walk out without even asking Sam if he wanted to come. So there are mixed feelings afoot here.

      Dean spent most of season five not forgiving Sam and that was after Sam said he was sorry and that he was wrong and worked to prove himself trustworthy again. And then we found out that FOUR season after Sam drank demon blood and went with Ruby, Dean still hasn’t forgiven Sam. Even in his speech at the church, Dean did NOT say he trusted Sam or forgave him, he just told Sam that nothing came before Sam, not that he has let any of this go. Maybe DEAN should try really forgiving Sam, instead of pointing out how deficient he is as a brother, how much more of a brother Benny was, how now NOW working with Crowley, the frickin King of Hell and who MURDERED Sarah, is a fine and dandy and an acceptable thing to do because Dean thinks so; when all of season five Sam trusting Ruby who never killed anyone they cared about, who saved their lives time and again who protected Anna, an angel, working with Ruby is something Sam needs to confess to and BEG forgiveness for in order to be purified enough to finish the trials. Why isn’t anyone upset with DEAN for still not forgiving Sam? Why does Sam have to forgive Dean in 2 and a half minutes, while Dean can hold grudges as long as he feels like it?
      I know Sam tried hard to redeem himself, I was just using this point as the boys have dealt with stronger stuff before and have been able to a point walk past it. They’ve got through the nightmare and understood where the other was coming from. This whole possession thing has been new to them and went on for sometime, so this betrayal is harder as many things were not right about it. Yes Sam went off with Ruby but at the same time we no he tried to correct his wrongs. How is Dean going to approach his cock up this time around. Its taking him time to say he is sorry or at least put his point of view across. But is Sam giving Dean that chance to talk. Is Dean offering his chance to talk also? I get that the writers are deliberately milking this drama for effect until the finale or even beyond. Its like they are trying to keep them apart for this MoC story line to take effect. If this has something to do with events it wouldn’t surprise me. Why are they hammering out such disharmony when there is clearly no need to. It doesn’t add up. It was a big deal for Sam I have never disputed this, but in the past the boys have handled stuff which has been just as powerful and sorted it out much quicker.

      I’m sorry to rant, but the double standard bothers me.
      Its okay, we all need to rant once in a while, and the body invasion was a tough thing to deal with and we all have our own views on it, whether we agree or not. I think Dean could make the first move, when he was behind the wrong in the first place if this makes you feel any better.

      Love Aunty B xxx

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      1. The double standard bothers me too. In the years since Ruby, Sam has tried very, very hard to make it up to Dean and win his trust. Do you know that in the last five years, Sam has never lied to Dean about anything except that Soulless event, which was not his fault anyway. Whenever anything happened, or anything was wrong with him he told Dean all of it. He could have kept the hallucinations a secret, he didn’t. He tried at first to keep his illness during the trials a secret, but wasn’t trying too hard and once Dean asked he came clean about it. I have been paying attention and I have noticed that he’s put some effort into it. No one else has noticed this, I wonder?
        I did …. This is why I do get mad at fans, that they don’t want to see any GOOD in Sam at all. Its like his feelings don’t exist in all this. He keeps things a secret from Dean to protect him. Its his way of dealing with it. He knows Dean worries too much about him so he shelters him from it. But he as you say eventually does bring it out in the open. I love both of them for this that they protect the other.

        Love Aunty B xxxx

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        1. “No one else has noticed this, I wonder?”
          on a lighter note, yes he did lie. He said he didnt smell dog in the car lol
          Yeah, cause he new Dean would kick off, as he knew he doesn’t like dogs’ Lol!!

          Love Aunty B xxxx

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