I’m Proud of US/YOU?

I kept thinking about this line when Dean was dying and Sam was clutching Dean. It wasn’t until I’d read an article on TWFB that it dawned on me that Sonny had said it to Dean during ‘Bad Boys’. When reading this article it prompted me back to earlier seasons and thinking was, was this in fact what Dean was wanting to hear from John all those years ago. Words come back to haunt us, and I think this sentence was one of those times. It felt like I’d been spooked.

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Was Dean mirroring what he wanted to here from John, relaying it back to Sam? Or that Dean really was proud of them both with out any interference from the past. Was he elated that the recent years the pair of them had spent together all come together and finally meant something to Dean that he Sam had come so far and that Sam had no doubts in the church last season. Could Sam finally have a clear conscience that even though he thought he’d let Dean down so many times, that finally his brother was supremely proud of him.

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I think hearing Dean say this was a turning point and that as an audience we needed to hear it or at least hear Dean say it out loud to Sam. It felt like they were a unit, and that they were a united unit. I also think Dean had wanted to say this for some time and it never felt like the right time to say it. The possession stuff had taken over what he really wanted to say to Sam and I think their time in the chapel had preyed on Dean’s mind.  I also think saying a few words can sometimes mean a great deal. He didn’t need to say very much for it to mean something huge to Sam. It was a real shame that Dean died saying it. Was Dean thinking of Sonny, or John when he relayed those words back to Sam?

How did you feel about those final words from Dean? What did it relay back to you, and what were you thinking at the time? Did Dean maybe know John was proud of him, and didn’t need to hear him say it, or it was something he may have just imagined in his own mind, until he heard Sonny say those exact same words.

 

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16 thoughts on “I’m Proud of US/YOU?

  1. Oh I love your blog 😀 where have you been all my life???
    Dean proud of his brother, proud of himself although their life is full of sadness, death and shattered *sorry for my terrible English, I’m from Vietnam*

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  2. John did tell Dean he was proud of him, he told him in the hospital in S2: E1.
    John made a deal with Azazel /Yellow eyes. John would hand over the Colt and he would go to hell in exchange that Dean was fully healed & he lived. It was the ONLY thing John wanted.
    John tried to negotiate 24 hours to get his affairs in order, but he was only given 30 min’s, because olé Yellow Eyes wasn’t giving him any time to welch or find a loophole in their deal.
    So the facts are, John has told Dean he was proud of him.
    Dean telling Sam in so few words, he is Proud of Everything they have ever done together. That no matter what mistakes, choices or screwed up path either brother has done or made, he is proud of them. He is dying with pride, with his head held high and he wants Sam to do the same. 😭 Poor Dean had only moments to say, show and emote to Sam everything he has ever wanted to say for years to Sam. The only way or option was to cram ALL his thoughts and feelings into FOUR ITTY BITTY LITTLE WORDS..I’m Proud of US. What i feel he meant, was only these FOUR itty bitty little words….”I love you, Sam.”

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    1. IMO Dean said what he wanted to say that indeed he was proud of the two of them. Now, this statement does many things. It forgives past mistakes on both sides, applauds the good deeds they have done and the people they have saved(the world), but implicit in it is that Dean always had Sam before everything- and that is why he needed to say he loved Sam in the way he did. It emotionally echos the church monologue in Sacrifice. The writers captured so much in 4 words.

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  3. I heard the echo from “Bad Boys” as well. I think I remember John telling Sam or Dean or both of them that he was proud of them. I am at the point where the episodes sometimes mush together in my brain. I believe that Dean was sincere, that he was proud of the two of them and all they had done together. It was also a way of saying, he let everything he might have held as resentment for Sam’s disrespect (which was really his angst over Kevin’s death) go. The clues for the finale are always imbedded throughout the season. This is just another example of the writers juggling the plates in the air and keeping one going. Dean did mean what he said in the church-that is why he allowed Gadreel to help-Truly think Dean saved Sam for Sam not just for his own needs. He also sacrificed himself with Metatron to protect Sam. He knew he might not make it alone but did not want to become what he was becoming. The most he could do was save Sam. It also marks the end of Sam and Dean as we have known them for 9 years. It is an ultimate statement. It is an end. Of course, the beginning of Dean’s life as a demon and how that plays with Sam is the re-imaging of the show. In the end, Dean was most sincere and most proud. Thus making Sam’s tears all the more poignant. Not easy for Dean to put his feelings out there… better late than never.
    This is one thing I have always adored about Dean is that he will do ANYTHING to protect/save Sam in the way he knows how. He is heroic on this score and I think as Sam has grown up he’s begun to realize this too, which was why his emotions were all over the place, he knew Dean meant every word of it. I think they both have issues in showing their real feelings, and I think that’s why I found it so moving that he knew he was dying, and his time was up and he got out what he wanted to say. Just like Bobby did when he was dying, he had something important to do and wouldn’t rest until he’d done it. I think Dean becoming a demon, won’t last forever, and I think its what they do now in between times that will stand the test of time. I don’t want them doing this what they did with Purgatory and limit us with the real facts. I want to see Sam struggle, and Dean struggle with their new identities, and find themselves again. I also want Crowley to have his ass kicked by Dean too.

    Love Aunty B xxxx

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      1. and that is why Dean was so hurt and became easy pickings for Crowley’s manipulations. By the time Sam explained his distance to Dean, the blade had taken over Dean’s goal and Dean still wanted to protect Sam. We always hurt the ones we love.
        I agree with both of you here. I had to think about it for a minute but got there in the end. Dean has always tried and gone out of his way to protect Sam even when he went into fight Abaddon he knocked Sam out, to protect him. He didn’t want his brother seeing him kill her in case she used him as bate.

        Love Aunty B xxxx

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        1. Yeah, I think Sam, as smart as he is, was not very articulate when it came to expressing his own pain. He’s a very internal person who is not given to really stating his emotions out loud too often and I think he was so full of his own pain, he couldn’t explain to Dean why he was upset with him.

          I do agree that what he said to Dean was only half right and he said it in the wrongest possible way. Sam is one of those people who almost never directly approaches his emotions. He circles around them and comes at them from odd angles. Or rather, let me be clear, he states his emotions elliptically, and never directly. I think it’s bc he’s not used to doing that, having never been encouraged to express his feelings in a family of dudebros like John and Dean.

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          1. If Sam ever did express his true feeling, he was met with rebuke. Look at how John took Sam’s honesty about pursuing something other than the family business. Every time Sam tried to talk something out with Dean, Dean shut him down by turning on the radio or closing down. So Sam has learned to keep his feelings close and probably has lost a step in expression beyond the usual guy thing that is often the stereotype. When Sam is without Dean, he usually gets even more withdrawn. He may have been more open with Jessica emotionally but he never told her about the family business. So it is engrained in him to handle things himself. Sam and Dean at the camper know what the other is about to say and Sam finally gets out the nightmares he has been having but the scene is short- which is good- b/c we don’t want devolution into soaplandia. I suspect that season 10 might focus on Sam without Dean. We might see the Sam that the trickster provided a glimpse of in Mystery Spot.

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            1. Yah, I agree. The way he talks about his emotions is partly in response to never being able to directly approach speaking about them to his Dad and Brother. They certainly wouldn’t encourage him to do so. And the brothers were always raised to be pretty self reliant. Add to Sam a certain level of self possession and you’ve got a person who holds his emotions pretty close, unless and until he’s under a great deal of stress.

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              1. Remember when Sam went to see a psychiatrist to find out about other kids like him? Remember when Sam went to see a therpaist in Asylum and really spilled his feelings(off camera of course) about his brother. Remember when Sam was drunk, doped up in the Wraith episode and sick with a high fever? Then he expresses his thoughts and feelings. Hell, nobody believes him anyway.

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                1. Yeah I noticed that. You always here these complaints about how Sam never gets to speak for himself and we only ever get deans viewpoint. That’s not true at all. Sam does speak his mind but usually only when he’s very upset or stressed out about something. He spoke his mind a lot in season five bc of the stress and guilt of letting Lucifer free. He spoke his mind quite a few times this season too. Most especially in that episode with Castiel. He said some things that made it pretty clear why he was upset too, and you know what the reaction to that was…virulent hatred from that part of the fan base that aren’t capable of hearing anything but what Dean says. I’m going to wager the exact same people either just don’t listen to him when he speaks or they just dismiss whatever comes out of his mouth as a lie. I don’t get it. I just don’t. Sam is not tha hard to understand as a person, really. I’m going to assume that they WANT to hate him and will find absolutely any excuse to do so.
                  Well said Ikeke …. I know I say this time and time again, but you should glance on the board as you can see the hate with your own eyes. Its not too bad at the moment but the moment Sam is out of order its like I’m on a different planet. Cas has done some horrible, horrible things, but he’s never pulled up and knocked about like Sam is. Dean has also done some shady stuff like killing Amy Pond. Why is Sam always seen as the bad guy who can do no right. His confession last season was that he couldn’t make the same mistakes. He was really eaten up for what he’d done to Dean, and it still wasn’t enough for Sam to have an easy ride. I don’t get it either. Sam has always tried his best.

                  Love Aunty B xxxx

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                  1. Sam has been written in several different ways. Dean is constant. Sam is more of an internal voice so unless you are really tuned into him, you miss it. His physical and facial reactions reveal much beyond his words. In”The Purge”. his speech about the sacrifice reveals that he was so damaged by the consequences, it was really talking about himself more than Dean although the words could be applied to either depending on your POV. When the writers do a solid for the Sam character, we learn so much. This is not taking a side against the Dean character, just saying sometimes the noisier character is easier to understand. Sam has always been a conflicted soul. It is how it plays out in his choices but he is harder to follow that Dean seasons1-9.

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  4. To answer the question specifically, I think Dean was only thinking of Sam when he made that statement. I think that from season 3 threw season 8 Sam has tried so hard to be the protector/avenger of Dean but has failed in his attempts. Until Sam confessed how he felt during Sacrifice, Dean looked really surprised at the revelation. Since John never told either of his sons that he was proud of them before he died, Dean knew how important it was to let Sam know how he felt before he died. (I am crying a bit as I write this) I think that Dean has finally released John as his mentor and bases his style on Bobby. By this point in the story, John has lost his shine in Dean’s eyes mainly because of Adam and his realization that John treated them like crap while they were growing up. One fan fiction I read made the point that John didn’t start visiting Adam until after Sam left for Stanford as the ultimate diss to Sam. I haven’t confirmed the time line, but if true, the brothers know this and Dean especially would be super sensitive that John only contacted Adam to hurt his kids. Combined with the fact that John told Dean to kill Sam if he ever went dark side knowing that Dean would rather cut off his arm before he killed Sam. And Sam has never gone completely dark which means that John had no faith in his youngest son. Dean knows all of this and he would never leave Sam without telling him that he loved him and they he was proud of him and them as brothers and partners in hunting evil.
    I think there is a point in this, that it has come from Dean’s heart and not from John’s. I think this is why it meant so much to Sam, when he really needed to hear it. It wasn’t noticeable on first watch, but the more I did I noticed how Sam cried and that it meant something to him deeply. I think the whole stuff about the possession had finally come to ahead and he could let go. I was pleased that Dean got to say it, and that Sam felt it not just because Dean knew he Dean was dying. It was strong stuff and got to most of us.

    That episode makes me very emotional. Probably because I am uncertain as to whether or not Dean will be restored to human status. The show is no longer predictable so I am really anxious about Dean’s future. I was happy that Dean and Sam finally made up but not until Dean was at Death’s door. That part was really sad. Just my 2 cents on the issue.
    It was sad, and I think it was meant to be, because of the journey they’d both been on. It was very tough on them both and for it to come out when Dean was dying made it all the more poignant and crippling to watch. It wouldn’t have made such an impact that it did if he hadn’t have died. I am pretty certain they won’t leave Dean a demon permanently. He’s the human rock, the stone number one. If he is left tainted, then it would serve no real purpose. I think the whole point of the arc is redemption for Sam to show us he loves Dean, and that he is prepared to go to those lengths to save his brother. This was why so many were angry regarding The purge, but I knew in my heart of hearts it would come back to bite Sam, and that he didn’t mean it he was lashing out because he was angry. Its basically clearing Sam’s words and that it proves to us the audience that they both love each other no matter what gets in the way.

    Love Aunty B xxxx

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  5. “Was Dean mirroring what he wanted to here from John, relaying it back to Sam? Or that Dean really was proud of them both with out any interference from the past. Was he elated that the recent years the pair of them had spent together all come together and finally meant something to Dean that he Sam had come so far and that Sam had no doubts in the church last season. Could Sam finally have a clear conscience that even though he thought he’d let Dean down so many times, that finally his brother was supremely proud of him.”
    I think as a “father figure” he felt he needed to let Sam know before he died-unlike John. I am also certain that Dean meant every word in the church-he has proved it time and again-even though Sam usually disagrees with what he’s done.
    Sam only let Dean down once in my eyes-and that was with Ruby.

    I still think that Sam was mission orientated when he went off with Ruby, he was doing what he thought was right. Looking back, I think he regrets it having seen Sympathy for the Devil recently, it bought it back to me. He knew he’d hurt Dean but only wanted to help the mission in saving the planet.

    Love Aunty B xxxx

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    1. I agree. I think Bad Boys can probably be looked on as one of the pivotal episodes of the season. It’s difficult to watch it bc for me that episode was so deep. It is so rich with parallels and echoes of the past and I think it’s also a good indicator of the brothers future, as well as a way of letting go a lot of the pain of their past with John.

      I think it was a final farewell to John and his influence over their lives and I also think it was Dean really and truly embracing his decision to put his brother first and owning that decision., back then and in the present. And Sam needed to know and understand this about Dean. I looked on that episode as Dean and Sam finally being grown men instead of boys under their fathers thumb and an epilogue to 9×23: Sacrifice where Dean told Sam he always put him first.

      In season seven seven Dean told Sam to make Deans reality his stone number one. Sacrifice was Dean telling Sam that Sam had always been his and Bad Boys was Sam finally and fully understanding that.

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      1. I agree. It was Sam’s realization of how much Dean gave up for him. Dean was just like Sam wanting to be normal but Dean ran to the job for Sammy’s sake. It was Dean stepping into manhood despite his teenage attitude in Afternoon Special which places him a bit older than the Dean of Bad Boys. Perhaps by 18, he figured out he would never have normal so his behavior with girls is a symptom. It is back filling the story, but the writers did a pretty good job for a psychological POV. Sam was still dealing with his own nightmares so the communication was nill. That doesn’t mean that Sam didn’t get what Dean was all about.

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