John Winchester OR Bobby Singer who do you consider the better father? ……..

This will be an interesting project to see whom comes out on top as regards parenting skills, raising issues, home life, role model, companion, knowledge/wisdom, safety, abandonment issues, social skills, awareness, teaching skills, contribution to the boys welfare, any other issues that you might come up with on route of this exercise. So list from one to 10 or how ever many points you think needs consideration/removal over the other. At the end of the comments will list who’s the overall winner father or surrogate father. Please begin placing you’re votes….

John Winchester Against ….. 

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John Winchester For 

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Bobby Singer For 

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Bobby Singer Against …… 

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7 Comments

  1. John Pros Dedicated, Strategic, Determined, Knowledgeable, Competent, Fearless, Meticulous, Through, Integrity, Commanding.
    All these things, as a whole make a good man, even a great Marine.

    As a father he was abysmal. He stated in his journal that once Mary was killed his love died with her. The shame is he didn’t consider that the boys were in essence both Mary and her Love, and that she was always with him.
    He was unreliable, irresponsible, horribly negligent, secretive, exacting, unethical, antisocial, uncommunicative, emotionless and abusive. No he wasn’t the abuser that locked kids in cages, got drunk and beat them bloody for the world to see, no his forte was mental, where scars run deep, thick and painful that changes you and cripples you for the rest of your life.
    John and the guy’s lived a real gypsy lifestyle, they had no home, no connection, no real community. John left his son’s in unquestionably, sleazy motels rooms, with loaded weapons, and instructions to always shoot first ask questions last. This is Deans life from the age of 10. Left all alone to protect, and care for his baby brother who was 5 or 6, with no adult to turn to when things happen; IE sickness, accidents and emergencies. He left them with very little money and a couple days of food and had them fend for themselves for days or weeks at a time.
    It makes me wonder just what Dean had to resort to doing when card and pool sharking wouldn’t pan out, and he was unsuccessful at five fingering anything. How many times did he come back to Sam with nothing and hearing Sam cry because he was hungry and his stomach hurt. Not many…. Just what did Dean have to do? Do you think he would have to resort to doing things, awful things to earn money to feed Sam? I do….I know in my bones Hell isn’t the only thing haunting Dean Winchester. I know Dean scammed, begged, stole, fought and other less tasteful things to make sure Sam ate at least twice daily. In Metamorphosis 4×04 Travis the Ruguru Hunter asks the guys have they ever been really hungry? I mean, haven’t eaten in days, hungry? the only one that answered was Dean, One word, Yes.
    I can tell by the way Dean savors his food, how he never passes up free food and always seen eating as much as he can in one meal; not because he’s a glutton, but because he just doesn’t know when the next meal will be. This is the reason why we see him always eating and why Sam is always so confused by Dean stuffing his face. He just doesn’t get that his brother always made sure Sam never went without, even if that meant him not eating. He even went to Sonny’s for stealing PB and bread because he said he lost the money playing cards, and I’m thinking it was the very last of the money so he could buy more than just peanut butter and bread. We also know that Sam went to Bobby’s and Dean stayed Sonny’s for months, not days, not a couple weeks, months.

    Bobby may have been given the moniker of the Town Drunk, but I have a feeling since it was a small town and memories run thick and long. The title of Drunk may have been attributed to him because his Father was one. I also think he fostered that image to keep people from poking around in the salvage yard where his abusive ass of a father was buried and Karen his beloved wife, also it kept people from pestering him, he was crotchety, sarcastic and witty for a reason, who wants to know or care about the town drunk? If Bobby was a alcoholic he wouldn’t have been functional as a hunter. He was well respected in the Hunter society and John TRUSTED him to care for his son’s in his absence. That speaks volumes of Bobby…John trusted very few people after Mary died. Besides Bobby and Father Jim was there anyone John trusted with the boy’s? Bobby at the very least TRIED to give them a childhood, a sense of normalcy, stability and a real Home. He made sure the boys were fed, he actually played with them and he stood up to John when he felt that John was pushing them to hard and making them grow so fast, even going so far as Bobby threatened to shoot John over something never mentioned, but I can guess it wasn’t because of a petty squabble. My vote Bobby was the real father…john was the sperm doner.

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  2. Bobby Singer for:

    1. He was abused by his father. Many times that creates a person where they don’t want to have kids. However they are at times the ones who who they do have kids that are super careful and great parents.

    2. He treated them like kids not adults.

    3. Many times he took care of them when they were dropped off at his house. He probably saw them more than John.

    4. He loved them and gave them guidance like a father.

    5. He was always there for them.

    6. He taught them how to be smart at hunting.

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  3. John Winchester Against …..
    He put the weight of the world on a little boy, never cared about his needs or reward his devotion and he neglected both his children

    John Winchester For
    He gave them the hunting skills they needed to survive.

    Bobby Singer For
    He tried to give the boys as many slices of childhood as he could and offered them a safe place to fall.

    Bobby Singer Against ……
    He’s been criticized a lot for his boo hoo princess speeches but I think he was doing it to help and make sure Dean didn’t unravel. He knew that if Dean really sat down to cry and look inside the abyss, he would never come back, and was trying to get him to keep ‘functioning’ at any cost. Dean responds to this kind of parenting because he himself believe it’s dangerous to let emotions get in the way. That’s exactly why he told Sam, we bury this crap and we move on. That’s how we don’t end up like Martin.

    Bobby was the better father.

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  4. I wasn’t sure how exactly you wanted voting to go, but I tried to be brief in my reasoning.

    1. Parenting Skills: It’s 50/50 on this one. Aside from there being a script, if it were to take it as “real life” circumstances Bobby has said some things I don’t like. But much of the stuff he says comes from that manliness thing and his own abusive upbringing. You know the whole “boohoo princess you’re feelings are hurt..” When stuff like that is said to Dean Winchester he just buries his emotions even further, but Bobby I think eventually learns from this and begins to realize it’s time to talk. Bobby makes up for this in other categories. John Winchester was basically absent??
    2. Raising Issues/Home Life/Role Model/Companion: John Winchester trained his boys to be soldiers. Bobby showed them some normalcy whenever he got tasked with babysitting them. Throwing a baseball around with Dean instead of target practice?? Sam may have experienced more normalcy with Bobby than Dean, (in my head canon; but thing is Dean has a tendency to hoard those memories he had of Mom & Dad that Sammy never got – it sucks but Dean does this all the time). But as it should go, Bobby Singer wins my vote for this one.
    3. Awareness/Teaching Skills/Social Skills: Bobby Singer wins this category as well. I think he made the boys more aware of the real world around them as much as he possibly could. Just the little moments. I mean for god sakes he’d sit around and watch Spanish soaps with Dean. John Winchester would hand Dean a shotgun after puttin the boys up in a hotel room and say guard Sammy. Then he’d leave on his hunt. Also, I’ll never forget the line in the season 7 episode where Sam says to young Amy (the kitsune), “You don’t want to see my father when he’s drunk.” Overtime, a lot of what the boys have learned came from external forces. The monsters themselves and others characters like Charlie. But Bobby still TRIED and gave an EFFORT in raising and helping these boys to grow. (Oh, here I kind of want to give a shout out to the one man at the boys’ home that John left Dean at when he had been caught stealing. Where Dean actually went to school for a bit and was a wrestler? Remember that? Well, that guy deserves all the kudos, especially since he had offered to go mano y mano with John Winchester for Dean.) Not that Bobby hadn’t done that on several occasions…
    4. One of the biggest issues for me is ABANDONMENT. Dean has a major abandonment issue. And maybe John feels bad about that because it did as we learned in season 8 happen to him. Henry “abandons” John. Of course, at this point it’s all wibbly wobbly timey wimey and it seems as if Henry Winchester had to go back in time for destiny purposes. See episode: “As time Goes By.” Dean suffers from this, but Sam has sort of learned to cope. Except of course, he cannot do this without Dean and that’s where the co-dependency lies. And if I think about the one person who hadn’t abandoned them a single time; that was BOBBY SINGER. He was always there for those boys even when they may have a time or two taken him for granted.
    *Side note: I think that most of the time when it came to eating and what not DEAN was the one who would have to scramble for what he could and when he did get it, most of it went to SAM. So as for welfare the boys looked after each other a lot, especially if and when John couldn’t leave them with someone else. This is where we get into that whole debate of how in the effin’ world did Dean get money and how much if it was just getting lucky with a five finger discount?

    Okay so basically if we’re just putting in votes mine is definitely BOBBY SINGER.

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    1. Thank you so much for the thoughtful response. I hope we get more like this from others, so we can get a better picture of how each of you feel about either character, this could turn out to be rather interesting. This was just what I was looking for … A perfect template for others to follow 😉

      B xxx

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      1. John taught them discipline and mission. The question is whether his quest should have been jammed down his sons psyche. Not wanting to abandon his sons, the way he thought his Dad did, and lacking Mary’s nurturing side, John did what he had to do to teach survival. He did it through a journal, not face to face. He taught them consequences and a very defined reality. He knew Sam was at risk and that Dean was the best protector of Sam. His own pain over losing Mary shaded his attitude toward Sam and his standards were high for both to insure survival from things that go bump in the night. Only as adults does Sam find out that his Dad would check up on him at Stanford and that the savings fund went for ammunition. Dean does stand up to him at one point, but Dean’s exterior is learned behavior. Maybe that is part of his having a soft spot for children- being an older sibling protector and his true self spilling into the situation. Let’s give John some credit for knowing when to leave the brothers with Pastor Jim or Bobby Singer.
        That all being said, Bobby gets my vote. He taught them discipline, worked on their skills and shared his knowledge. He was not afraid to call them out but still show his affection. He also knew it was necessary for the brothers to experience real boy experiences such as playing ball. His reason for getting into hunting is similar to John’s. His wife, Karen’s possession weighs heavy in his psyche and the guilt of denying her children perhaps spurs him to help raise Sam and Dean. He knows what goes bump in the night and still maintains humor and shows affection. His balance of both worlds helped him “adopt 2 boys” who became heroes.
        In fairness to John, we got to know Bobby better than John as a person. Through it all Bobby could still enjoy a vacation at Hedonism, Tori Spelling, the mani/pedi at the Mall of America, and love the boys. John had a romance that produced Adam, a kid he took to a ball game once a year to keep him safe. He might have been better to have given that child a balance. John was either all business or all family. Bobby was both proving the definition of family for the Supernatural reality.

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