DECADE: A Supernatural Anniversary Series by VMOTD (Part II)
PART II: 10 DAZZLING DEMONS
November 2nd, 1983
A demon enters the Winchesters’ home.
10 years ago, the one we’ve come to know as Yellow Eyes graced our screens for the first time. Demons are the first monster of Supernatural and the subject of part 2 of my Decade Anniversary Series. You know the drill, I show you my Perfect 10 and you show me yours. As a handsome devil once said in “On the Head of a Pin”, “let’s get started”.
The Perfect 10, aka Number 1. Demon!Dean (Knight of Hell)
“You know Kung Fu?… Well, come on.” Speaking of handsome devils…
When we meet the new King of the Damned, he’s vacationing, or rather going through the motions, expecting to wake up. Like his hedonistic former self, “Porn Guy” enjoys strippers, booze and sex. Too sexy for his shirt. I can’t be the only one who’s curious about “the thing” he does with… “the thing”. Still, do not touch the knight, unless invited. He has a short fuse, enough juice to throw you around with just one shove and he’ll slide that blade through your chest like a knife through butter if you try what little patience he doesn’t have.
Lean Mean Dean embraces the disease. This new, even cockier model doesn’t do guilt. Or emotions of any kind. Brotherhood? “I quit.” He’s pretty blasé about most anything but your silly tales of revenge and family will have him cracking a smile, maybe even throwing in a joke about Inigo Montoya. He swats you like a fly while you’re windmilling with no end in sight. Delusional fools amuse him, for a while. Enough, let’s finish this game! The Knight fights like he’s gliding on water. Or is that Jensen? Either way, he’s an elegant and majestic creature.
When he’s in pain, our demon roars like the King of of the jungle. This lion likes to polish the crown that sits atop his head with his fingers, and he doesn’t walk, he swaggers. Like he owns it all. The ground you stand on. The air you breathe. Your life, for as long as he allows you keep it. He might greet you by telling you he wants to rip your throat out, with his teeth. My, Dean, lower that blade. Abaddon was right, you give a girl all sorts of nasty ideas.
To a shining star gone too soon but never forgotten. Long live the New Cain.
2. Crowley (King of Hell)
“You’re good. But I’m Crowley.” King of the Crossroads, King of the One Liner, King of the Double Entendre, King of the Bureaucrats. Crowley’s a go-getter and a strategist. He likes the finer things in life. The whiskey is top-shelf, the suit is tailored. Do you know how much that rug costs? He’s whip sharp and never underestimates the enemy. He works hard. His goal? The upper echelon. He’s no dull boy either. This daredevil plays hard and likes to howl at the moon.
“Darlings”. He likes his nightmares tall, fop-coiffed and wrapped in denim. I told you, the man has taste. He would have liked to see Sam put the S in S&M but Sam rebuked him with a syringe to the neck. He becomes obsessed with Dean and like a lonely vampire, turns him to keep him for eternity. Did he want Sam, or did he want to be Sam. One thing’s for sure, he wanted what “Samantha” had. He calls himself Dean’s “mistress”. “You can’t stand the fact that he’s mine.” He’s taunts the one he calls the “wife”. “He’s my best friend.” Oh, me. Oh, my. Crowley, you sound just like favorite monster # 2, Nick Munroe.
I make him sound cuddly. He’s not, and the horrible things he’s done to good people should matter to me, a lot more than they do but I’m defenseless against Mark Sheppard’s charms. His Crowley’s been through trying times lately. Held prisoner, battling addiction while his carefully constructed kingdom fell to pieces, the ultimate betrayal from the mother who never loved him, and having to mourn the liaison amoureuse that would never be. While some chant “karma!”, I understand this Lonely Girl. Dean Winchester completes him. How do you move on from losing the 8th wonder of the world? I’ll put a tiny umbrella in his drink. There, there, Sire. It’s gonna be all right. “Everybody plays the fool, sometime.”
3. Cain (Knight of Hell)
What if Poseidon had a bee farm? The Deadliest Demon to walk the face of the earth makes small talk as he serves tea. The honey is homemade. It seems like the Father of Murder has gotten it out of his system. His slaughtering centuries are behind him.
When Dean comes to him for help killing the Knight Abaddon, the one target the First Blade missed before he swore to put it down, Cain puts our hero to the test. “Don’t mind me.” Front row seat, with his corn, he studies Dean’s technique. Cain likes a beer to go with his boxing matches. On the battlefield, he’s like no other. He also went to Hell to save his little brother. No wonder he feels so connected to Dean. He remakes him in his image. Unlike his oldest remaining Knight, this one will share his Mark.
Red alert! When Cain trades in the honey for a kill list, “One in ten”, he’s got time, he thunders and strikes. “That’s the spirit!” Judge, jury and executioner, the Father of Murder always turns on his children, especially the knights. He should have known when he said Dean was “worthy” that this was one student that would kill the master. Cain is gone but Sir Omundson deserves hymns sung to his performance, his mane, and his beard. One word will suffice. Glory!
4. Abaddon (Knight of Hell)
“You go to Hell, and you tell them, I’m coming.”
Delivered like true royalty. The Queen Alaina, and the Queen Abaddon reign side by side in this fangirl’s heart. Red, from her hair to her bloody nails, Abaddon brought a fire that had been missing from the show since the archangels left in season 5. She bursts onto the scene like a tempest, debuts the roar we’ll hear from Dean in “Soul Survivor” and tears through the Men of Letters order like a typhoon. She’s merciless, she’s power incarnate. She sinks her claws and disintegrates you. She screams, the sky rumbles. “By the way, I’m checking out.” Entrances, exits, this femme fatale does it all in style. “Go, go, go, go, go!” She has all the boys scrambling, running and hiding.
“A king conquers.” “And we will march into Hell,” “and Demonkind will rise up and sweep over the earth. And all the humans, and all the angels with their clipped wings will bow to me! Or they will burn.” The demon with the tight bun, the pearl earrings and yellow shirt, panting in the corner? That’s me. She knows how to rally the troops. Fall in line like a good soldier and do not question her. “Overrated?” Grandma You-call-this-a-meatsuit should have quit while she was ahead.
Abaddon outsmarts her maker but eventually revenge knocks down her door, served in the shape of Dean Winchester. At least they never got to cure her. She lived and died like a Knight. Long live the Queen of Hell and thank you lover, for a grand old time.
I call Nicki Aycox the blueprint. She’s the first demon we meet in season 1. Yellow Eyes is just a shadow and the airplane demon moves from vessel to vessel before it’s dispatched in “Phanthom Traveller”. Meg Masters is a real girl, or something like that. She pops up wherever Sam is in “Scarecrow” and cozies up to him with a story crafted to appeal to his need for independence. Nicki’s Meg feels like danger. There’s a constant threat bubbling underneath the surface. “Didn’t I say “no more crap”?” She never lets me forget she’s a demon and I like that.
Rachel Miner makes a triumphant entrance in “Sympathy for the Devil”. Her Meg is playful, a fighter, and she does that thing, with her eyebrow. She likes to hear herself talk. Good thing because I do too. That drawl of hers is lovely. “I always knew you were a big, dumb, slow, dim pain in the ass, Dean.” From anyone else, it would sound so mean.
“Officially over the foreplay. Satisfy me, or I please myself.” She’s provocative, no matter the vessel. She toys with her boys, straddles an injured Sam for “a little dirty fun” in “Shadow” and strokes Dean’s “pretty, pretty” face with the tip of a blade in “Sympathy for the Devil”. “Kinky,” she likes. The first encounter between this thorny beauty and her unicorn in “Abandon All Hope…” is flammable. Caged Heat. He makes her meatsuit dewy and plays pizza man to her babysitter.
She’s softer in season 7. Nurse Meg needs safety in numbers and tries to ingratiate herself to the Winchesters and prove her loyalty. ” I know what I’m supposed to do. And it isn’t screw with Sam and Dean or lose the only angel who’d go to bat for me.” She must have done something right. Not everybody gets to drive Dean’s pride and joy. I wish she’d died smashing the Impala into the Sucrocorp’s main sign instead of dumped on the ground in “Goodbye Stranger”. At least she died for a cause she believed in? Still…
Lady in Red, but she’s more than just another temptation in “Sin City”. Even in a Devil’s Trap, she can manipulate the wind and collapse bricks. This bartender warned us, she makes “a mean hurricane”. She finds humans “weak”. They’re a “corrupt” kind and she’s here to profit from their sins: “God-fearing folk, waist-deep in booze, sex, gambling”, easily led to Hell with a smile on their face. She believes in Lucifer, and will follow the boy chosen to lead his army, that is, if Sam decides to step up to the plate.
Casey is an open book and likes to share. Dean quizzes her about the pit. A bed of despair they’re all desperate to flee. He’s not going to like it. She on the other hand finds him “likable”, nothing like the others describe, and unlike many, she understand why he made the deal. I love her back-and-forth with Dean. She catches him checking her out. Interesting idea, but I don’t think you’d respect me in the morning. “Hey, I barely respect you now.” Maybe, but I think he finds her likable too. They shared a moment their partners wouldn’t understand. When Father Gil comes, Casey pleads with her lover to spare Dean’s life. Dean tries to stop Sam from killing Casey but Ruby’s bullet is faster.
She’s a one-off, yet she’s always in my mind when I think Supernatural. Is it the walk, the talk, that intense gaze she gets when she speaks of Demon domination or that sudden smile when she concedes that maybe, you do have a point. Either way, she did it well, and I will never stop thinking that Sasha Barrese should have been cast as a different Demon. A recurring one. Lady in Red. Even her top matched the job description. We could have had it all…
I call her Fountain of youth. This one likes ’em young. Her eyes are white and she’s as old as humanity but you’ll never find hair matching the color of time on her pretty little head. She eats newborns and is in touch with her inner child. “It’s my birthday, everyday! “That’s not strawberry jam on her dress. It’s Freckles the cat. It was mean to her, like the mean old baby sitter rotting in the hallway. And Grandpa, you too, are just a mean old man. Eek… When Little Terror tries the grown up route, her blondes still have that youthful glow. The first one kisses Sam in “No Rest for the Wicked”. In “The Monster at the End of This Book”, the second one tries to get him into bed.
“And it is written, that the first demon will be the last seal.” She knows when the vacation is over, and accepts her fate with a grace that is surprising when you’ve seen how much of a brat she can be. “Don’t be afraid. We’re going to save the world.” This is the calm that comes from faith. When Sam gets distracted by his brother’s voice and starts second guessing himself, she gives him the push he needs to finish her off. “You turned yourself into a freak. A monster. And now you’re not gonna bite?” Sam doesn’t react well to the word “monster” and he makes sure she never repeats it.
Happy Birthday, Little Lith, you had a good run.
He started it all. While the others lost faith, Azazel looked for his father until he located the door to Lucifer’s Cage. The Archangel tasks him to find a very a special child. Azazel sets his eyes on Mary Campbell, kills her mother Deanna, her father Samuel and her fiancé John, insuring that “Lil Orphan Mary” will be receptive to the deal he has to offer her. John, in exchange for the permission to enter her home in ten years. We know how that story goes.
The Yellow Eyed Demon is intense and terrifying inside John. “Make the gun float to you there, psychic boy.” He has it in for Dean and tears him apart, physically and mentally. “Mask all that nasty pain.” Your family doesn’t need you. He creeps us out inside Samuel : “No one’s breeding with me. Though, Mary? Man, I’d like to make an exception.” Fredric Lehne’s makes him unforgettable. Sarcasm is his middle name. “Oh, John, I’m offended. Don’t you trust me?” You’d think his eyes would his most devilish feature, it’s that crazy smile of his. Unless their name is Crowley, I like my demons, demony. Fred’s Azazel embodies the term.
“I’ll get to you in a minute, champ. But I’m proud of you. Knew you had it in you.” His favorite won the contest. Campbells, Winchesters, dead, safe for one loose end that needs tying up, but like any good villain, he needs to gloat first. “I couldn’t have done it without your pathetic, self-loathing, self-destructive desire to sacrifice yourself for your family.” Dean shuts him up, finally, with some help from Dear Old Dad. Azazel made one mistake. Thinking Dean wasn’t much of a threat. That’s what he told John in the hospital before he took John’s life in exchange for Dean’s. In the end, Yellow Eyes will never die, for the apocalypse he made possible and the blood running through his champion’s veins. I shouldn’t be this impressed by a monster but you have to admit, this devil is a genius.
9. Crossroad demon
I went to the crossroad
Fell down on my knees
Crossroad Blues – Robert Johnson
They show up, usually dressed in black, with a pair of ruby crystals to complete the ensemble. Whatever you desire and in ten years the bill is due, in full. I love the mythology of the crossroads. The actual crossroad, the box, the summoning, the salesdemon, the negotiation, the kiss, the payment, collected by hellhounds, with a side of goofer dust for those who won’t go quietly. Incidentally, the deal doesn’t always “go down” at a crossroad. Traveling salesmen like Crowley deliver the merchandise right to your doorstep or give out freebies until “Bingo, bango!”, they hit you with the “Let’s talk price,” like Guy, the Faux-Wiccan.
Let’s take a look at some of my favorites. We’ll start with Taylor. I call her by the name of the character the actress played in “Hookman”. 1930 Rosedale, Mississippi. Taylor starts us off with the legend of Robert Johnson. Barefoot, dressed in a simple white dress, she smiles when he says “Holy…” “Guess again”. She doesn’t tell Bob about the fine print and vanishes after sealing the deal. The second demon is chattier. Kim Crossdashian (go with it) knows all about Dean Winchester and she’s impressed. “Heard you were handsome, but … you’re just edible.” I like her scene with Dean. She holds her own, scolds him, flirts with him, builds him castles in Spain and even offers a “bonus” but he still comes out on top. Kim escapes his first devil’s trap only to fall into a second one. “Exorcizamus te…”
“Keep your gutter soul. It’s too tarnished, anyway.” Here comes Ona (Grauer). She enjoyed the smell of Dean’s despair. “It’s a fire sale, and everything must go.” She’s in control, she toys with the client, tells him to stop groveling, it’s a turnoff, and acts as if she’s doing him a favor. “Because I’m such a saint, I’ll give you one year, and one year only.” Oh, Ona, don’t be cruel.
“Foreplay… gets you more play.” Sharon Stone crosses and uncrosses her legs. This sassy crossroad demon thinks it’s all a game until Bobby starts roasting her bones. She sings like a canary and is the one to introduce the world to “Fergus” long before Rowena started cawing that name to drive Crowley crazy. In one memorable appearance, these ladies all caught my attention. I’ll congratulate them with a sentence I stole from my favorite male Crossroad Demon, and a wink. Blessed be, sweeties. Blessed be.
“Dean Winchester. What, no appointment?”
Smarmy, condescending and full of himself. He’s the corporate douche with a sense of humor. “Ready to enter the cutthroat world of upper management?” Mmh, what a tacky thing to say to someone before you slice their throat to make a call.
The stable boy to the Four Horsemen is the VP of Distribution at Niveus Pharmaceuticals. Convenient, when you’re looking to unleash the Croatoan virus on humanity in the form of a vaccine. We learn the reason Crowley is trying to keep him away from Sam : Brady was the devil on Sam’s shoulder, back in Stanford. Sophomore year, the demon possess Sam’s best friend, a “perfect point of access”. What’s more? Possessed!Brady introduced Sam to Jessica…
“Well, here we go. We doing last words or no?”
Brady is an exercise in anger management for Sam. The demon revels in giving Sam the play-by-play of how he “toasted” Jessica on the ceiling, on Azazel’s order. “She thought we were friends, too. Let me right in. She was baking cookies.” The fact that he gets out of it with one scratch even as he’s laughing in Sam’s face is a testament to Sam’s ability to keep his anger in check when the mission calls for it.
It seems nothing can break Brady. Word is, at his pay grade, they don’t crack. He might be good, but Crowley’s Crowley and when Crowley pulls the “lovers in league against Satan” ace from his sleeve, turning Brady into a traitor to Lucifer destined for eternal torture, our white collar demon knows he just lost the game. All that’s left is for Sam to wipe him off the board. Brady still puts up a fight and taunts Sam until his dying breath.
“Do the best of somebody better.”
Pestilence was unreasonable. Brady did pretty damn good if you ask me.
I’ll end part 2 by raising my mug to my favorite demonic duo. Perfect 10 and number 2. I call them Crown, a name befitting two kings (they deserve so much better than that droopy, drooly Drowley, beh).
They’ve howled, they’ve bayed, and now they’re going back to work to dazzle us again in season 11. While I search for their Flickr album (nothing ever gets deleted from the Internet, right, Sam?), share with me which demons managed to steal a little piece of your soul.