THE HUNTERS’ FRIEND – AA MEETING

AA Members look at the podium ready to listen to their two newest members.

AA DIRECTOR:  I would like to welcome two new members tonight to Alcohols Anonymous. Two brothers are here with us to share their life experiences and become new members of our family.  Allow me to introduce Dean and Sam Winchester.  I will now turn the podium over to Dean Winchester followed by his brother Sam Winchester.

DEAN WINCHESTER:  I spent 40 years in Hell, down in the Pit torturing damned souls for Yellow-eyes but I never thought I would be standing here explaining myself to a bunch of drunks at an AA  meeting. I am support to say “I am an alcoholic,” like in some damn chick-flick movie. So here goes, ‘I am a gutter-bum drunk just fixing to get rolled if I don’t get my shit straight’.

I started trying out Old Crow when I was 11 and my dad left me and Sammy alone in that one hour motel.  Dad had to leave us because he got a call on a werewolf. This third grade school teacher was ripping up her students.

That first night Dad was gone a revenant tried to cross our salt line smelling Sammy’s demon blood.  So I blasted it with Dad’s sawed off shot gun loaded with rock salt. That did the trick, didn’t even wake Sammy up because he was used to rock salt busting holes in walls because I had to be extra careful when dad was off on the family business.

Put a hole in the motel door, sent three hookers and their John’s buck naked in the parking lot. A drunk nearly got his head blown off passed out by our door as  he ran off so I grabbed the fifth of Old Crow before it spilled out  and took  a drink.  It tasted a like battery acid, but by the time I had Sammy ready for school I had a good buzz going.

I’ve got one thing to add.  I’m here because Sammy used his puppy dog eyes on me.  I been sober enough to drive Baby without getting pulled over on a fifth of Markers Mark.  Somethings having claw marks sewed up and trying to forget how a Wendigo can strip the meat off a man’s while the guy is screaming will make you want a pull now and then especially when I broke the first seal and started the Apocalypse.

SAM:  You did not start the Apocalypse.

DEAN:  Listen Samantha to your big brother, only held out in Hell 30 years and I started using a razor. First flunking Seal.

SAM:  What? No Dean! Final Seal, I killed Lilith high on demon blood.  I was stone cold sober on liquor and you know it.

AA Director:  Gentleman, please, Mr. Samuel Winchester do you have your statement ready?

DEAN:  Bitch.

SAM: Jerk.

AA DIRECTOR:  Please we are at a meeting!

DEAN:  Shut the hell up and set down Mr. Fugly Director. I don’t see no need to give up beer. Started when I was 9 from a buddy of my Dad’s Fred Jones, a damn good Hunter.  A cold bottle  will  get your feet under you after you and your brother have been shotgunned and  you got to heaven and find out God has ran off. Come to think of it.  Me and Sammy had been doing a little drinking ourselves that night  considering how many bottles and cans there were in that hotel room.  Go ahead and tell all these pansy drunks what the ‘hunter’s friend’ is Sammy.

SAM:   “I am an alcoholic.”

Finish Sammy’s speech and bring the AA meeting to a close.

Written By: Southeast

Published By: Bella

16 replies to “THE HUNTERS’ FRIEND – AA MEETING”

  1. My poison’s called Demon Blood. It’s an ancient wine. Very rare. You probably never heard of it. It turned me into a diabolical version of myself and destroyed everything around me.

    I hit rock bottom. Literally. Tripped into a hole and fell so hard everything shattered. The aftereffects of the accident were catastrophic. Amnesia, multiple personality disorder. I lost my mind, and so much more…

    I was dying a slow, painful death. If it wasn’t for my brother dabbling into alternative medicines and divine intervention, I wouldn’t be here today. I still have scars. No more shakes, I’m past that, but I get triggered by the sight of certain red fluids. It’s a battle but I take it day by day. As my brother say, we sill have work to do and that’s what keeps me going.

    I… I believe there’s always hope. Thanks for listening.

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    1. “My poison is Demon Blood.” Local brand, hard to get, ask for in Hell. Your Sammy reminds me again how much Sammy suffers day by day from those few drops on his baby tongue.

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      2. Predisposed to become addicted to the thick liquid by just a few drops at 6 months. As an adult, gallons required to get the kick out of it he needed- liquid courage- but like Dumbo, he didn’t need the feather to fly, it was in him all along.

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        1. Bobby once told Dean they did not give Sam the credit he deserved despite his dark side.

          Sam broke my heart when he told Dean he was not worthy to be s knight, and Cas refused to shake his hand.

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  2. Sam- Dean is so pie- eyed he forgot that he was torturing for Alistair since we had already knocked off YED in season 2. I’m more of a Deanaholic- I drink hunter’s helper at first to follow in my big brother’s image, then to blot out the things that go bump in the night so I don’t have to acknowledge they exist- I tried not to drink when I was at Stanford-remember that Halloween party where I refused alcohol? I got drunk in Connecticut at that old hotel because i was afraid of who i could be- and Bobby and Dean used it as a tool so I followed. It works to clean out wounds- especially when you have to sew them up yourself ’cause the trickster made it Wednesday after the Tuesday when I had to listen to “Asia” over and over again. So now, I only drink once in a while and usually only get plastered when Crowley- our frenemie- becomes besties with my brother on his binge. What’s worse is I have over done the drinking of non-alcoholic beverages…which was far worse- I let Lucy out of his cage- but I was drunk on Ruby, on saving people, on living up to Dean’s standards- I did it to myself- I take responsibility- I had an imaginary friend, Sully, who helped me, but now it is up to me to make the change and be on the same page as my brother and you all, one step at a time. Boy this meeting is easier than the abstinence from sex one. I can’t remember if I kept that vow- don’t remember being with any corporial ladies the past year- but I was a bit busy chasing down Dean and helping him remember what it means to be loved, to have a family. Hi, I’m Sam and I have a drinking issue.

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    1. And the AA members in the audience thought they had heard it all! Which one wants to be Dean or Sam’s sponsor and on call day or night dodging ghost, spell cast by witches, watching invisible fangs, claws rack and shovel cold grave dirt at midnight. Raise your hand if you want to get between the two when they have a spat. Is rot-gut OK when brother A is sewing up umpteen stitches in brother B?

      Love that corporal ladies finer point.

      Well done list on all that Sammy has been drunk on.

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      1. Love that corporal ladies finer point.
        I thought the CGI on that finger was superb, one of the shows most believable addition to the monster catalogue. We could add this to the book??

        B xxx

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      2. If Bobby could get between them when they were fighting amongst themselves, I might be tempted to “get between” the boys . Well, at least I like the physical image it creates.
        I identify with Bobby’s parental step in role. Perhaps that is what has been missing since the end of season 7 and why there has been so much unresolved angst. Oh, wait, the boys’ decisions to keep secrets and live in denial may have contributed to their addictions. Castiel has had them “stow their crap” but even angelic intervention has been temporary. Dean is also some what addicted to the physical expression of his tensions through his encounters with ladies. Yes, corporial relationships are fleeting for him but are far more prominent that Sam’s liaisons.

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          1. Don’t we all have a little bit of Bobby’s wisdom and sometimes I talk to the screen and say “Idjits” but not during the s 11 premiere. Woah.

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